returned only to be lost

Ever felt like you’ve just completely lost your sense of direction?

We choose to move away only to leave a piece of ourselves in an old city, but it never hits us just how big that piece is until all the noise subsides.

How do our experiences and emotions surmount ourselves and surround us in a thick mental fog?

It’s been rough.

I’ve removed myself from this blog because there were painful memories.

Conflicting feelings.

Whispers of negativity and self-doubt.

Sanity is relative, so when all I needed to do was get this degree

Failure distracted me.

Personally, I don’t like failing more so than the average person.

I hate it when I try give my all into something but then am told to only give 50.

I hate it when people just spew adages to me that they themselves do not apply.

I’m back in Sacramento after being hospitalized multiple times.

Hospitals force you to get intimate with the idea of “time” and it doesn’t really hit you how much hospitals rob you of it and your mind.

Ive been debating if I should leave Sacramento again even though it’s been only a week since school started.

I can’t find a job here for whatever reason.

There is a void of cultural and social acceptance and openness.

I dont want a repeat of March but I feel that same fog creeping in as the leaves changes colors and I start to see my heat escape me.

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