Have you ever had that moment when your body and mind just stops?
Not stop as if it were to pause for a physical or mental breathe; it is when you cannot bring yourself to anchor yourself in the present.
Something came over me and drove me to binge on motivational Youtube videos. I have no idea why motivational videos in particular but I think I had successful watched three hours worth of my time. I didn’t really realize this until my friend attempted overloading my phone with calls and text messages because she wanted to hang out. (Yes, it was quiet a sight to see a ton of notifications from one person and having to remember that the individual is persistent purely for the sake of being persistent)
The modestly timed clips inspiring different elements of a human being fascinated me. I never really thought about how each “set” of videos stayed within a particular theme. I mean, the notion of motivational videos was to ignite an internal fire awaking some primal instincts that otherwise lay dormant until we are in a situation where out bodies try to overdose us with adrenaline. Once the adrenaline becomes unified with our bodies, there is an immense surge of a particular emotional. It’s kind of like when someone is road raging ( which I find hilarious by the way ) and all they feel is anger. Frustration and annoyance are only mini parts that compose the emotion anger. For some, once s/he is in this state of mind, it is as if some sort of entity consumes them and there is nothing that distracts them from that one feeling.
The motivational videos seem to do the same thing. The videos touch fears of failure, internal turmoils, yearning for goals, defeating doubt, and many other components that people share when they face the challenge of facing ourselves.
Nobody is sitting on top of you keeping you in that seat.
Nobody is holding some sort of lethal weapon keeping you against your will.
Nobody is getting up every day and doing the things you do.
Nobody is breathing for you.
Nobody is living for you.
We as human beings have wants.
We want to be healthier.
We want to be financially comfortable.
We want to be happy.
But for many it seems unattainable. As we age, we tend to get lazier; wallowing in the comforts of our home and somehow dismissing the life lessons we learned as kids. As adults, most get comfortable with how we structured our lives. We get comfortable being serious and forgetting to stop and appreciate nature. We become afraid of the unknown and uncertain but as children we thrived on our hunger for knowledge driven by a seemingly supernatural amount of curiosity.
So after spending three hours watching motivational videos, I got my ass off my futon and constructed a schedule for this month only. I resisted my urge to plan out the entirety of the next three months.
I constructed a schedule illustrating the process of reaching each goal. It had components to combat my tenancies to become bored with goals and bat at them like a bored cat on a Monday afternoon. I forced myself to be brutally honest about what I allowed to prohibit me from reaching my goals simply because I’m lazy.